The Truth is a Terrible Thing
by stormchaser69
Summary: Set before Debra ever finds out about Dexter and his evil ways, this story focuses on her life and how she pulls through whats she has been through. I uploaded this a while ago but I only wrote a few chapters and I kind of abandoned it. I've made some small changes to the current chapters and I will be continuing the story as far as I can.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Therapy

It was time for Debra's next therapy session and she was running late at a crime scene. She checked her watch again; for the fifth time in the past minute or so.

"You got somewhere to be?" Angel Batista (one of Deb's team) asked.

"Sort of, but it can wait. Well it'll have to if my fucking brother doesn't get his ass here soon." Just as she finished her sentence Dexter appeared behind her.

"Do you mean this fucking brother?" Dexter asked jokingly and Deb sighed in relief.

"Finally, right I really have to go. Can you take care of things here?" Deb asked Angel and Dexter who both nodded, permitting her leave.

"Good, see you guys back at the office. I want a full blood report Dex!" Dexter saluted her and rolled his eyes to Angel as she jogged to her car. Deb had been attending weekly sessions after her new job level as Lieutenant had gotten a bit too much for her. It started weekly until in one of the sessions Deb mentioned that she fell in love with the 'Ice Truck Killer' who was secretly her adoptive brother's brother. At this point her therapist told her that they should see each other a lot more. Deb wasn't really comfortable with the situation, she had a firm belief that only insane people needed therapy and this was certifying that she was crazy. Of course she wasn't, but Deb still didn't like it. As much as she hated it though she couldn't deny that from when she sat in that chair opposite her therapist to when she left, she could feel a weight lifted from her shoulders. She sat in her usual chair and wriggled a little as her therapist (Dr. Sarah Wentworth) wrote something on her note pad.

"What is it?"

"Nothing." Deb replied quickly.

"Are you sure?" Dr. Wentworth asked, lifting her head up this time and giving Deb a look. The look that told Deb she wasn't fooling anyone.

"It's stupid, it's nothing." Deb tried but Dr. Wentworth's look didn't falter.

"I...I had this dream, that's all..." Dr. Wentworth nodded, letting Deb carry on.

"It wasn't a bad dream, it was a good dream. A very good dream..." When Deb stopped there Dr. Wentworth laughed.

"Oh, okay. I'm understanding now. It was...erotic?" Deb laughed nervously and nodded.

"Well what's the problem? You've never experienced one of those dreams before?" She asked Deb as she made notes on her pad.

"It's not what the dream was about it's who was in it."

"You mean who you were with." Dr. Wentworth corrected and Deb nodded.

"Who was it?" Deb didn't answer at first, deciding whether or not to tell the truth. But eventually decided the truth was best.

"Her name was Jess. Well, I suppose it still is. I haven't seen her since high school. I haven't even thought about her; never spoke to her much when I was there. I just don't understand why out of everyone it'd be her. I don't even remember her second name. And she's a girl." There was a long look between these two before Dr. Wentworth answered Deb.

"I think that the most important thing you told me there was the way you mentioned her gender last, like it is the most irrelevant when I think it's bothering you more than you're telling me." Deb sighed.

"Of course it fucking bothers me. I had that phase in college, got drunk and made out with my roommate. I've been there, done that. It's just confusing why it's there now." Nodding Dr. Wentworth went to speak but stopped herself, trying to put it in a way that Deb would understand.

"Deb, do you not think anything about your college roommate? Didn't you enjoy it?" Deb laughed without humour.

"I was shitfaced; I couldn't even remember it the next day."

"But you remember now." Dr. Wentworth challenged and Deb slanted her eyes at her.

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

"I didn't mean to offend Deb, I'm just pointing out that after everything you've been through you suddenly think about this girl. Did you never think that you could possibly be a lesbian?" Deb laughed and this time it was from humour.

"I'm sorry but that's just shit fuck crazy. Did you not hear my history with men?" Dr. Wentworth nodded.

"I did, I heard how they were all bad choices. They all broke your heart or you could not commit to them. Like Detective Quinn." Deb had been looking away but she looked at her therapist in shock. Shock because Dr. Wentworth was right.

"That doesn't mean I'm gay."

"No it doesn't, but that could be one of the possibilities. I suggest you explore the option before you completely discard it." Deb took a few seconds before she could think of something to say; something that contained the correct amount of cursing for the situation.

"Hold the fuck up, so you're telling me to hop and fucking skip it to the nearest dyke bar and get fucked in both ears by some butch lesbians just so I'm clear that I'm not a motherfucking lesbian?" After the severe amount of cursing Deb fit into that sentence Dr. Wentworth didn't see that there was much point in saying anything so she just nodded.

"Shit balls you're serious."

"I'm not asking you to do anything of what you've just said – from what made sense to me anyway – and I'm sorry if you don't agree. You can by all means just think it could be something else. But honestly, I have thought that the root to some of your other problems could've been related to you denying certain sexuality." Putting her head in her hands Deb tried to ignore how much sense it had.

"By all means, tell me if I'm not making any sense to you but you pay me to tell you what I think Debra, and this is it. I think your ever so slightly promiscuous ways are because of your denial. I think if you look into it then it may surprise you." Dr. Wentworth stood up and walked over to her desk.

"What are you doing? We're done?" Deb asked, confused.

"Yes, Debra, we are done for today. Here." She handed Deb a card for a night club in the city. It said it was strictly for women and Deb pocketed it quietly.

"Fine, I'll look into it." Deb muttered as she got up and headed for the door. With her door on the handle she stopped and turned to Dr. Wentworth.

"When did you first think?" with her head buried in paper work Dr. Wentworth had forgotten Deb was still then and looked up, a tiny part confused.

"Think what?"

"Think that I was playing softball with the entire shitload of Miami's rug munches." Deb laughed at her own analogy but Dr. Wentworth just stared back at her blankly.

"Think that I was a lesbian." She concluded with an eye roll.

"Oh, right, early on. From your first relationship related problem we talked about." With that Deb left, still unconvinced that she was spending $120 an hour on something worthwhile.

When Deb arrived back at the office she got out of the elevator to find the place practically empty. Batista was working on his computer and she could've sworn she saw Dexter moving around behind the shutters of his lab but it could've been Vince Masuka, the other lab guy.

"Hey Batista, where is everyone?" He looked up and smiled at her politely.

"I don't know, it was empty when Dex and I got back." She nodded and he handed her a report from his desk, she took it and started flicking through it briefly.

"Is this our Jane Doe from today?" Deb asked as she read through it quickly.

"Yup, looks like a robbery gone wrong, Dex said he'd give you the blood report when he got back." Her head shot up.

"Where the fuck did that shit go?" Angel shrugged and turned back to his computer.

"He said something about lunch break." Deb sighed and headed for Dexter's office. There was no one there. Not even Vince.

"What about Vince? Quinn?" Angel shrugged as she returned to his desk. Her phone rang and she plucked it from her pocket, the card her therapist had given her falling out onto his desk.

"Here Deb you dropped...this..." Angel read it and raised an eyebrow at her.

"Lieutenant Morgan." She answered as she pulled it from his hand.

"Hey Deb, it's me, Dex."

"Finally! Where in fucktopia are you?" Angel smirked and Deb ignored him.

"I'm at home, Harrison is sick." Deb rolled her eyes, leaning on Angel's desk.

"Oh Jesus to fuck that's unlucky, give him a kiss from me and if you hear from Vince tell him I'm going to kick his nuts down his fucking throat if he isn't here soon!" Dex went to answer but hesitated, his son in his arms.

"I won't repeat that in front of Harrison but I'll give him the message." Deb hung up without a goodbye.

"Right, Dexter has an excuse. What about those two?" Deb asked helplessly but Angel was still thinking about that card.

"Deb, do you want to talk?" She just looked at him.

"About anything, I'm here. I won't judge." After a second she realized he was on about the card for the lesbian bar she had dropped and she sighed.

"No I don't want to fucking talk I want to know where the rest of my lazy bunch of fucking bullshit, useless team is!" She stormed into her office and left Angel sorry that he said anything. She sat at her desk silently for a few seconds before she opened the report and started to read it properly. Just as she was getting her head into the case and starting to finally get some work done there was a knock at her office door that interrupted her.

"What?" She barked.

"I'm sorry to disturb you." It was Dr. Wentworth.

"You dropped this at my office." She was holding Deb's wallet out. Now Deb felt like an asshole for snapping at her. Getting out of her office chair she smiled politely and took the wallet.

"That was all I had for you so, I'll leave you to it." As Dr. Wentworth went to Leave Deb stopped her.

"I'm sorry I know you're probably busy but could I ask you something?" Dr. Wentworth nodded. Deb motioned for her to sit on the small sofa in her office as she closed the door behind her and leant against her desk.

"I can't help but think about the lesbian thing, what about the guys I was with?"

"Well, maybe you knew deep down all along that you did not really belong with them and therefore chose men you couldn't be functional with or you found reasons to break it off." Deb nodded but Dr. Wentworth could see she was still struggling with the idea.

"For example, Lundy, you loved him but he went travelling therefore your relationship could not work. Quinn, you couldn't commit because you knew you couldn't be happy. Sean, he was married." Dr. Wentworth did not carry on because eventually she would get to Rudy, Dexter's biological brother, the ice truck killer. Deb seemed to understand so far any way.

"Okay, I'm clearer. A little." Deb muttered as she pulled the card out of her pocket and turned it in her fingers.

"You don't have to go there, it was just a suggestion." Dr. Wentworth told her, Deb pulled her head up and moved away from the desk. She didn't realize that her therapist had stood up and they were inches apart.

"I um..." Deb began but she couldn't finish her sentence. Dr. Wentworth smiled and put her hand on the back of Deb's neck, pulling her into a kiss. Deb had lied, she hadn't been any clearer but she had been getting a head ache. Now though, she was clear. Clear on everything she had ever been uncertain of. She put her hands on Dr. Wentworth's lower back and pulled her closer, they fell against her desk but they didn't stop. They carried on kissing until Deb's office door swung open. Jumping away from each other breathlessly they both looked to see Quinn standing in the doorway.

"Shit." Dr. Wentworth said quietly, and Deb looked at her in surprise.

"You said it." Quinn went to speak but left again, closing the door behind him. Dr. Wentworth and Deb looked at each other before deciding that they couldn't kiss again.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Confusion

As the sun was setting over Miami Deb was thankful she was able to call it a day with her work and go home. After all of the confusion and the stress of Dr. Wentworth she was more than ready to sleep through it. Deb was just putting her jacket on when her office door opened and Quinn stood there. For a second she stopped what she was doing but then decided he would stress her out too much for one day.

"Look, whatever it is Quinn it can wait until tomorrow. I've had a hard day and I just want to go home okay?" He smirked at her.

"Oh I saw just how hard your day has been, you should probably invest in a lock for this door if your days are going to get that hard a lot. I was just coming to inform you that I won't be in tomorrow morning, I've got better stuff to do than work." Deb frowned at him.

"Excuse me?"

"You're excused. And unless you want me to tell everyone that you're a dyke and that's the real reason you wouldn't marry me, I'm having tomorrow morning off. With pay." Before Deb had a chance to answer he turned and left. Her jaw was hanging open slightly in shock as he left the office.

"That little shit just fucking blackmailed me." She mumbled to herself. This was definitely too much to deal with for one day. Checking she had everything she shut her office light off and walked towards the elevator in a bit of a daze. Quinn had her right on the money, she didn't even know what was going on with her the last thing she needed was her entire team whispering behind her back. Luckily, by the time she'd gotten out of the elevator and gone to the car park he was gone. His parking space was empty. Deb leant against her car and let out a long exhausted breath. She didn't know what to do or who to talk to about it. Well, there was Sarah (Dr. Wentworth but Deb thought they were on a first name basis by now) and she _was _her therapist.

"Fuck it." Deb told herself as she got into the car and called Sarah.

"Hello?" Sarah's voice answered and Deb faltered, her words refused to come out.

"Hello? Is anyone there?" Deb cleared her throat.

"Hell, I mean, hi. It's Deb."

"I know your name came up on my screen." There was an awkward silence.

"Right...of course you did. Are you...okay?" Sarah giggled a little at Deb's lack of being able to form words properly.

"Yes, I'm fine thank you. How're you?" Deb smiled at the sound of her laughter, putting herself at ease slightly.

"I'm good. Are you free tonight? I was hoping we could...talk."

"Deb I get paid to talk all day, that's really not how I want to spend my Friday night. Why don't we go for a drink?" Deb raised her eyebrows, a little surprised.

"Um sure, a drink sounds good. Where do you want to go?" Sarah sighed.

"Where's your sense of adventure? I'll come by your place about nine and we can figure it out from there okay?"

"Yeah that sounds great."

"Okay, text me your address." With that Sarah hung up without a goodbye, completely normal. Deb started the car and drove home as she started to think about her evening plans. Was it a date? If it was Deb had totally organised that by accident. She just needed someone who understood what she was struggling with and help her through it.

_Yeah, like another lesbian you mean._ She thought to herself. Turning the radio on Deb tried to concentrate on the music so she didn't think too much, it was giving her a headache. It wasn't long until Deb was home and ready and waiting for Sarah to knock on the door. Looking at her watch again Deb paced, nervous as hell. Then she was angry at herself for being nervous. The phone rang and made Deb jump slightly but she answered it.

"Hey Deb, it's Dexter. You got any plans tonight?"

"Hi Dex, Yeah I have I'm going out for a drink with Sarah." As soon as she said her name she winced, knowing what Dexter was going to say.

"Oh okay, whose Sarah? I don't think I've heard you mention a Sarah before."

"A friend I met a while ago, she's a lot of fun actually." Dexter laughed a little.

"Well okay then, you two kids have fun. I'll call you over the weekend okay?" Deb smiled at her brother's commitment. Even if it was just to see what she was doing he always called.

"Yeah Dex, thanks. See you." Just as she hung up there was a knock at her door and she mindlessly opened it as if it were anyone else, half forgetting she was waiting on Sarah. When she opened the door she froze as Sarah stood there, smiling at her. It was bizarre to Deb to see her out of her working self. Even though she was wearing some jeans, boots and a tight tank top Deb thought she looked really good.

"Hi." Sarah said awkwardly when Deb didn't say anything.

"Oh shit, hi. Sorry, come in." Sarah giggled at Deb's nervous response.

"Do you want a drink? Coffee?" Deb offered.

"I'll have a beer, if you've got some." Nodding politely Deb went and got two beers out of the refrigerator. Showing Sarah to the couch she sat next to her as she handed her the bottle. It was awkward already and Deb felt herself wondering if this was a good idea.

"Right, I can't do this all night." Sarah set her beer down and moved for Deb, she cupped her face in her hands and pulled her into a kiss. Deb didn't know what to do and just kind of let it happen. She knew one thing though; no kiss off a guy had ever made her feel like this. Her heart rate was racing and getting louder and louder in her own ears. One thing was for sure, she knew she didn't' want this to end. After a few seconds Sarah pulled away and smiled at her.

"Is that better?" Deb just smiled and moved back a little.

"Was it that obvious I was freaking out?" Sarah laughed.

"I get paid to analyse people, but you looked like you were about to pass out. I take it you didn't call me for a date then?" Deb felt like a horrible person when she heard that rejection in Sarah's voice.

"No that's not it, it's not like I wouldn't want to, I just. I'm a little..."

"Confused?" Sarah finished off.

"Yes, you have to understand I've never thought this would be possible. Let alone that I would want it or want you and ugh what if I am a lesbian? What are people going to say?"

"That's the last thing you should care about Deb. If you are in fact, a lesbian, that's no one's business but yours." That therapist tone was in her voice again and Deb sighed.

"Listen if we're going to do...whatever this is then you can't be my friend and shrink me? I don't like it." Sarah laughed.

"Okay, I won't. Sorry it's sort of a habit I guess. We can take things as fast or as slow as you want, I'm here for you." Reaching forward, Sarah gently took Debs hand and just sat there quietly. She could see how tense Deb was about the whole thing.

"So...where do we go from here?" Deb asked carefully.

"Wherever you want, this can be a date or two friends getting a drink. It's entirely up to you; I'll just go with it." Smiling Deb felt so comfortable to have Sarah there with her, to be by her side.

"You can't be my therapist anymore, you know that?" They both laughed and took more sips of the beers they had.

"How was work today then? Any grimy cases?" The whole Quinn thing popped into Debs head but she didn't want to think about that.

"Well I work in a homicide department all my work is grimy. How about you?" Sarah shrugged.

"Same old same old, people have problems and they pay me to make them feel better. Someone gave me a plant today though." They both laughed and drank more beer. As the bottles started to empty Deb realised they'd have to get more beer or go out.

"What do you want to do to then?" Sarah was asking Deb in referral to how the rest of the night would go. It wasn't even ten o'clock on a Friday night.

"We could have another beer here and then head out to a bar or something?" Nodding Sarah smiled in agreement as Deb went to get the last two bottle of beer she had in her refrigerator.

"I like your place by the way, it's really lovely. It's in such a beautiful location too." Sarah pointed out as she got up and looked out of the patio doors.

"Yeah, I was lucky to get it I suppose." Remembering how she acquired the place because someone had died here and she couldn't care less Deb smirked a little. She also made a note to not bring that up to Sarah anytime soon. Following Sarah over to the patio doors she handed her another beer and started drinking her own. They drank in silence for a few moments, neither of them not knowing what to say. Deb really wanted to kiss her but didn't know how to go about it. Sarah really wanted Deb to kiss her, but she didn't want to freak her out.

"Come over here a second." Sarah asked as she motioned towards the couch. They sat and Sarah smiled at Deb a little.

"What's going through your mind right now?" Deb went to answer but realised it wouldn't be appropriate.

"Well whatever it is, just say it or do it because you're making me nervous by being so nervous." For a second Deb considered bailing and telling her to leave and just going to bed early. After all, it had been such a hard day. But then she looked at Sarah's smile and her lips and felt her heart start to beat out of time. Taking a deep breath Deb placed her beer down.

"Fuck it." She told herself and she leant forward and pressed her lips against Sarah's. As they kissed Deb couldn't help but be awestruck at how this had bypassed her for her entire life. How she had gone all these years without so much as considering it. Sarah reached up and wrapped her arms around Deb, pulling her closer. Deb moved forward, pushing Sarah flat on the couch. After a couple of minutes Sarah pulled away.

"You doing okay?" Laughing Deb nodded and kissed her again. She was doing okay, but she had no idea _what_ she was doing. She awkwardly placed her hand on Sarah's hip, then pulled it away.

"Okay, stop." Sarah said mid-kiss.

"Come on, off." Moving Deb off her she sat up and fixed her hair.

"Is everything okay?" Deb shot her a worried glance.

"Yeah, that was...a lot better than okay. Where's your bedroom?" Hesitantly Deb pointed a silent finger towards the door.

"Okay, come on." Sarah got up and made her way towards the bedroom. After a few seconds of feeling lost Deb stood and followed her. Deb tried to apologise for the mess as she opened the door, remembering she hadn't really cleaned in here.

"Sorry it's not tidy I wasn't expecting you to be..." She trailed off when she found Sarah. She was lying on her bed quite happily making herself comfortable.

"That's okay. I don't really mind a bit of...mess." She pulled a t-shirt from the bed and dropped it to the floor. Deb nodded and took her shoes off (when she saw Sarah had) and made her way to the bed. Sitting on the edge of it with her back to Sarah she took a deep breath, wondering why she was so nervous. This was so not her first time yet she felt like it was, she felt just as scared. Sarah's hand slid over her shoulder as she kissed her neck.

"Listen...we don't...have to do...anything you...don't want to...okay?" Sarah mumbled in-between kisses. Nodding a little absently Deb turned around so she could kiss her properly. Sarah moved her lips to kiss and bite Deb's neck slightly as she unfastened her shirt. Eventually, they were both in bed and undressed.

"Are you sure?" Sarah asked Deb one last time, before they got too far into anything.

"Yes, I'm sure." As Sarah kissed down her body, Deb thought that it looked like they definitely weren't going anywhere for a long time.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

3 Weeks Later

Since the night in at her place Sarah and Deb had stayed really close, almost like a couple but nothing had been made exclusive...yet. In their breaks of their busy schedules they'd hook up and have great sex. Occasionally, they'd go out late after all of this sex for some food or whatever but Deb didn't think they really qualified as dates. It was just hitting lunch time as Deb's phone rang.

"Lieutenant Morgan, what?" Deb was frowning at her computer screen at a particularly gross murder scene they were dealing with.

"Good afternoon, hard at work I'm presuming?" Deb's frown broke with a smile across her face.

"Hi there, and yes of course I am. What are you up to for lunch today?" It was Sarah, Deb's...well, Deb didn't really know what to call her just yet.

"I was going to see if you'd like to go and get something?" Deb's office opened as she nodded and agreed.

"Yeah that sounds great, I'll come by your office now. See you soon." She hung up fast and watched as Dexter stood in the doorway, Harrison by his side.

"Who was that?" He asked as a frown grew on his face.

"None of your business, that's who." Deb struggled not to curse, vaguely aware of Harrison. Automatically she went to Dexter's side to pick Harrison up to cuddle him. Dexter fixed Deb with a look, and she scowled back. They had a sort of silent conversation where Dexter demanded to know who she was speaking to and Deb told him where to go...which wasn't anything she'd say aloud in front of her nephew.

"I thought I'd let you know that I need to take the rest of the day off, Jamie called in sick." Deb quickly bit back the yelling and the swearing Dexter would've usually gotten and just smiled as sweetly as she could.

"Fine but you need to start working the hours you're paid to. I'll come over a bit later if I can and see my little nephew, right buddy?" She earned herself a nod off Harrison and he didn't move away when she went to kiss his cheek. She set him down and he took his father's hand happily.

"Okay see you later." Dexter left with Harrison, shooting her one last look. As he got in the elevator Deb got her stuff together and huffed out a deep breath of air, figuring out how to diffuse this situation later. She gave her brother one thing; she'd have more luck deceiving a lie detector.

"Batista I'm off to lunch, see you later." Deb called as she walked past his desk. Engrossed in the same disgusting crime scene as she had been minutes earlier, he waved an idle hand in her wake. Standing in the elevator she pushed the ground floor button and just as the doors closed a hand shot in between them and pried them open. Soon enough she saw the hand belonged to Quinn, the last guy she wanted to see. Over the past few weeks he had been blackmailing her repeatedly for all sorts of stuff and the other team members were starting to ask about it. She had to put a stop to this.

"Hey _boss_, just to let you know I'm gonna head home now." Deb set her jaw.

"You're feeling sick?" Of course he wasn't, they both knew he was perfectly fine; she was just hoping he'd be half decent about blackmailing her.

"Nope just want to go for a beer." Deb turned her full body to face him.

"What's your problem ass hole?" He laughed and turned himself.

"Nothing, I just fancy a beer. I mean, you wouldn't want me to accidentally slip up and tell your brother you're a rug muncher would you?" She snapped and grabbed his collar, pinning him against the elevator wall as the doors opened with a ding.

"Listen to me, and you listen good, I've had enough of your bull shit! You don't know anything, and Dexter isn't going to believe a word you say anyway. So I'd keep your mouth shut and be back in that office by an hour or so help me I will fire your ass!" By the last sentence she was screaming at him and there was a small group of people watching them intently. Half of them were wondering if she was going to punch him and half were betting she could take him.

"You got it?" Deb prompted when he didn't answer.

"Yes." He mumbled as she let him go and took a step back.

"Yes what?" She demanded.

"Yes boss." He added and she nodded, turned on her heel and stalked out of the elevator. The crowd parted, eyes fixed on Quinn as he fixed his shirt. Usually he would have followed her with his eyes, all the way to the main door, but he counted himself lucky that he'd gotten away with his head still intact. He wasn't going to risk it. Slowly he walked out of the elevator, the small group disbanding as they realised the drama was over. Deb was just getting in her car as he exited the building and he pretended to be texting so that she didn't make eye contact with him. Deb looked at her watch and realised that she was going to be late to see Sarah, shit. As she swerved out of the parking lot however, she had a small grin of satisfaction on her face that Quinn had been put back in his place. Sarah was waiting outside of her office as Deb screeched to a halt in her BMW.

"Sorry I'm late." She apologised as Sarah got into the car.

"It's okay, I survived. Is everything okay with you?" Deb was still red in the face and rattled from three almost fatal crashes she'd almost caused in her rush to get there. She was far from fine.

"Yeah I'm fine, what are you in the mood for?" Deb pulled out onto the road and drove in the general direction of the harbour. It was nice and close to both their offices and had plenty of choice.

"You're anything but fine. You want to talk about it? And I don't mind, you pick where we go." Deb nodded and mentally decided on a burger bar she was fond of.

"You can't fuck me and shrink me, we talked about this." Deb told her curtly.

"I know I recall, but you seem angry at someone. I can still be here for you as a...friend?" Deb raised her eyebrows at Sarah.

"With benefits." Sarah added and that got Deb to laugh.

"See? I knew I could make you smile." Deb took the steering wheel with one hand and held Sarah's with her other.

"You do make me smile. It's just Quinn being an asshole."

"Is he still holding this over your head?" Deb nodded.

"But not for much longer, I nearly killed the little shit about five minutes ago. I think he got the message." Sarah nodded and went to ask Deb about it some more, but changed her mind.

"So where are we going for food?" She asked as Deb pulled into the parking lot on the harbour.

"A burger place down here, it's pretty good. And they even do salads." Deb mocked Sarah's healthy eating lifestyle.

"Hey I can eat hamburgers too; they're just a bit of a treat." They laughed as they went to the till and ordered their food. As promised, Sarah ordered her hamburger but with salad instead of fries. It was a compromise. They sat by the water and just enjoyed each other's company.

"You want to do dinner tonight?" Sarah asked as Deb ate her burger heartily.

"Um...I don't think so I've got to go and see my brother. But I could always come over later?" Sarah raised her eyebrows.

"A booty call? Sounds good but I want a real date out of you sometime soon. How about tomorrow?"

"I can't we have this party benefit thing at work for some old retiring detective." Sarah froze in mid bite into her hamburger.

"A party?" Deb nodded.

"Well I'm still free if you some company." Sarah thought her hint for the invite was quite obvious. After all they were together...sort of. She believed that the allocated 'plus one' spot was hers.

"I don't know how late I'll be. The night after?" Deb ate a handful of fries; completely oblivious. Sarah dropped her burger.

"You're kidding? I thought you'd at least invite me to the party."

"You _want_ to go?" Deb asked in shock, he voice muffled by the fries.

"No, I don't want to spend a night with a bunch of old cops commemorating some guy I don't even know. But I would like a nice night out with my girlfriend, if that's okay?" She was still staring at Sarah in shock as she forced the fries down her throat.

"Your girlfriend?" Sarah rolled her eyes and got her stuff together.

"Yes Deb, the woman you sleep with and occasionally treat to a meal and even less occasionally be caught in the light of day with is your girlfriend. Why don't you give me a call when you grow up okay?" Deb couldn't speak as Sarah stalked away, her outburst attracting almost everyone's attention. It took her a few seconds before she realized what was happening and jumped out of her seat to chase after Sarah.

"Sarah, wait! Look I'm sorry-" Just as Deb was catching up to her Sarah spun on her heel which made Deb backtrack fast.

"Deb I like you and I enjoy being with you and I really enjoy having sex with you but I can't do this again. I spent half my life hiding who I was and sneaking around. I'm a grown woman and if I want people to know I'm gay then they will!" A woman had stopped to stare at Deb and Sarah in confusion.

"What are you looking at?!" Sarah snapped which made the woman hastily leave.

"Listen-" Deb tried.

"No, _you_ listen. I want to be with you and I will happily see you at late nights and early mornings because of your work shift or your family but _not_ because you're ashamed of me. You either be out with me or not with me at all. Choose." Sarah turned and left, she could feel the tears starting to burn in her eyes and the lump in her throat. The last thing she wanted Deb to see was her crying over her. Thinking about her words she felt she'd been harsh on Deb, but she wasn't some fifteen year-old whose parents might kick her out. She was a grown woman who should be proud of what they had like she was.

"Trust me to fall in love with a fucking closet case." Sarah mumbled to herself as she flagged down a cab to take her back to work. Deb watched Sarah get into the cab and drive off feeling lost.

"Jesus to fuck-" She started but there was a young woman with a child behind her. The woman frowned at Deb who smiled politely and walked back towards her table. Some seagulls were helping themselves to her and Sarah's lunch and Deb just grabbed her stuff and made her way back to her car. Funnily enough she didn't even feel that hungry anymore. Sitting in her car she thought about what Sarah had said. She was really happy when she got to spend time with Sarah and the sex was really good. Would it be so bad if they became an item? Surely her colleagues and her brother would understand? If she was happy then no one should really have anything to say about it. It wasn't long before she got back into the office and saw Quinn was sitting behind his desk as instructed, behaving himself.

_Good,_ a_t least some things are going right today. _She thought to herself. As she sat behind her desk she flicked through files and case reports but she couldn't concentrate on anything...apart from Sarah and the thought that she'd ruined it all by being too afraid. Snapping the report in front of her shut Deb picked up the phone and called Dexter.

"Hello?" He said politely.

"Hey Dex, I'm gonna have to cancel tonight sorry, something's come up. I'll come see Harrison soon though."

"That's alright, why what's come up?" She couldn't bear to lie to him again.

"Y'know my friend, Sarah?"

"Yeah, your girlfriend?" Deb froze.

"How...did you?" Dexter laughed.

"Oh come on, I'm your big brother. Walking around with that 'I just got laid' smile and disappearing to 'none of your business' a lot. I know, Deb. And I'm fine with it. I'd like to meet her though." Deb was dumbfounded, but God did she love her brother and awful lot. Smiling weakly she nodded, then realised he couldn't actually see her.

"Thank you Dex, you don't know what that means to me."

"Yeah, I do. Now go, have fun I'll see you soon." With that she hung up and felt extremely happy about everything almost instantly. Turning back to her reports Deb finally got some work done before she had to head home.


End file.
